he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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