so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
