K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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