Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
