just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I need water and some morals
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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