You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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