I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
