Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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