Sponge bath it is.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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