North Korea, Best Korea!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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