You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
