But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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