You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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