Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
