Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
