Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!

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  (269): So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church! http://tfl.nu/fvvt
  Replies (17) Good night (4635) Bad night (758)
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  (714): View more from California

  I think I am morally bankrupt

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  (714): I think I am morally bankrupt http://tfl.nu/yusq
  Replies (29) Good night (2574) Bad night (789)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass

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  (618): The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass http://tfl.nu/wmly
  Replies (412) Good night (26627) Bad night (3764)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall

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  (201): why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall http://tfl.nu/krc7
  Replies (43) Good night (11824) Bad night (923)
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  (951): View more from California

  better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???

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  (951): better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life??? http://tfl.nu/fjyx
  Replies (14) Good night (6167) Bad night (913)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.

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  (864): Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie. http://tfl.nu/k7pt
  Replies (10) Good night (1575) Bad night (5063)
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  (518): View more from New York

  it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....

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  (518): it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while.... http://tfl.nu/r6bs
  Replies (26) Good night (5628) Bad night (1304)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.

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  (248): When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal. http://tfl.nu/vbhe
  Replies (24) Good night (7974) Bad night (1527)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex

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  (256): FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex http://tfl.nu/6kmk
  Replies (23) Good night (1374) Bad night (5876)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.

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  (601): Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back. http://tfl.nu/ihr9
  Replies (2) Good night (2256) Bad night (991)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.

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  (416): I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing. http://tfl.nu/fg17
  Replies (2) Good night (648) Bad night (1051)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest

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  (802): I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest http://tfl.nu/d882
  Replies (5) Good night (1193) Bad night (440)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.

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  (+44): Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok. http://tfl.nu/txm6
  Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (762)
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  (619): View more from California

  I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.

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  (619): I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him. http://tfl.nu/tvqh
  Replies (1) Good night (608) Bad night (229)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!

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  (+44): When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!! http://tfl.nu/wuxe
  Replies (4) Good night (732) Bad night (326)

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