I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
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Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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