you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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