You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
