take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
