Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
