He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
