the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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