I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
