It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
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Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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