saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
