how hairy? two words: wookie tits
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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