i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
