Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
