Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
