you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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