my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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