We're facebook friends in real life
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
