Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
