got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
