Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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