OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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