Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize