you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Someone shattered a urinal.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
