He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
