I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
