I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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