We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I need to sanitize my soul.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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