the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
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No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
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I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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