I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
