bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
