if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
is that a dick in a sweater?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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