woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
