Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
