Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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