Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
