i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
