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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
