Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
