I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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