Got a toothbrush?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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