hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
