Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
