I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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