If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's blow job season.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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