Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
