imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
