You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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