The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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