Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
