dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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