Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
