i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
