Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
