everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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