this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
