She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i think i just lost a toe
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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