White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
